Millennials and Dating

My girlfriend sent me an article about why our generation is failing at dating today. The article discussed technology, ghosting and disconnectedness. She especially related to it because of her recently ended relationship.

This article got me thinking: are Millennial’s “bad” at dating, due to our weakness at connecting on a deeper level? Or, are we simply a generation that refuses to settle, due to our independence, heightening access to the world, and wild imaginations (constantly dreaming of bigger goals, successes, and passions – always chasing the next high).

Fifty years ago, the norm was a stable marriage, happy children, and a white picket fence. That stability and “American Dream” is what the bulk of society chased. As the years wore on, we gained access to education, knowledge, power, equality, technology and the world as a whole. With this, the standard changed, or in some ways, abolished completely. Finally (and in my opinion, thankfully), individuality become accepted, and sometimes, celebrated.

Millennials found comfort in being alone. Perhaps, to some extent, we are never alone with our Instagram accounts and Netflix, but our bedrooms have become quiet and our beds have become empty. We no longer seek to fulfill the standard society laid out for us. Instead, we welcome adventure, and the world has become smaller, so men won’t chase the neighbour simply because the cease to believe a better fit might be out there.

The philosophies and social norms have changed with the generations. This may have made dating more “difficult” than the courting and and the 9 PM curfews. However, as scary as terms like “ghosting” and “bread crumbing” may be, if we are a generation that has learned to not settle for anything but extraordinary love, than did we really lose? Furthermore, if we are a generation who has learned to not only welcome, but accept independence, self-sufficiency, and on some nights (when the silence creeps in) even loneliness, then are we actually doing an injustice to dating? Or are we simply seeking justice for ourselves.

Thanks for reading, xx

 

8 Lessons From My Single Year

Hi lovelies,

This month (May 28, to be exact) marks one year since I moved out of the house I purchased with the man I thought I would end up marrying. A year ago, I was laying in bed next to his sleeping body wondering “how the hell do I get out of here?”. How was I supposed to leave? He may have been distant, but he had good intentions. He may have not provided for me emotionally, but he was not a bad person. I had actively built that life with him, and then I was searching for a way to leave it.

I have been gone for one year, now settled comfortably in my own (quiet) home, and here’s a little that I’ve learned:

• Silence can be music. An empty schedule can be the most fulfilling plans. Freedom and alone time does not have to equate to loneliness.
• Nothing is permanent. This is both the scariest and the most comforting thing I’ve learned over the last year. This point has allowed me to appreciate connections, pain, relationships and happiness more. Everything is fleeting.
• The little things really aren’t worth stressing about – the bitchy girl at work, the bill that comes out next Tuesday, the 2 AM date that left you crawling out of a guys bed. None of this matters – you can chose to embrace it or let it hinder you. Make it a story to share, roll with the punches, and breathe.
• Being single allows you to completely build your life the way YOU want too. There is no compromise, there is room for selfishness. You want to move to another city? Do it. You want to get a sleeve tattoo? Do it. You want to go to a bar in a brunette wig and introduce yourself as “Katie”? Do it.
• The best relationship you will ever have is the relationship you have with yourself. Nurture that relationship first. Love that woman first.
• Be unapologetically yourself. I spent so much time bending the basis of who I am as a person to please people. BE YOU. The right person will love you for it.
• Appreciate genuine connections but know that they don’t need to mean forever. You are 50% of those connections – be comfortable, be carefree, be sincere and they will come by more frequently.
• The most unsuspecting moments will become some of the most profound memories. That first dog-walking date that never produced a relationship, that back-deck conversation on a summer night…those will stick with you.
• Become the woman you dreamt off – independent, carefree, confident.

The most dangerous thing about me is that I am my favourite company. You will have to fight me for me. – OfYesterYear

THOUGHT | CATALOG

I was hoping to bring you guys an exciting beauty related post today. Unfortunately, I am in bed sick after a whirlwind of a month. Instead, I wanted to share some exciting news with you guys!

I was published in Thought Catalog! Though Catalog is an incredible website which publishes works from thousands of writers. I follow them on nearly every social media platform.

I’ll link my article A Letter To My 16-Year-Old Self here. I would love if you checked it out.

I’ll be back to my normal posting once I’m feeling a little better, sorry for the delay! I miss you all and I hope you’re having a wonderful week,