8 Lessons From My Single Year

Hi lovelies,

This month (May 28, to be exact) marks one year since I moved out of the house I purchased with the man I thought I would end up marrying. A year ago, I was laying in bed next to his sleeping body wondering “how the hell do I get out of here?”. How was I supposed to leave? He may have been distant, but he had good intentions. He may have not provided for me emotionally, but he was not a bad person. I had actively built that life with him, and then I was searching for a way to leave it.

I have been gone for one year, now settled comfortably in my own (quiet) home, and here’s a little that I’ve learned:

• Silence can be music. An empty schedule can be the most fulfilling plans. Freedom and alone time does not have to equate to loneliness.
• Nothing is permanent. This is both the scariest and the most comforting thing I’ve learned over the last year. This point has allowed me to appreciate connections, pain, relationships and happiness more. Everything is fleeting.
• The little things really aren’t worth stressing about – the bitchy girl at work, the bill that comes out next Tuesday, the 2 AM date that left you crawling out of a guys bed. None of this matters – you can chose to embrace it or let it hinder you. Make it a story to share, roll with the punches, and breathe.
• Being single allows you to completely build your life the way YOU want too. There is no compromise, there is room for selfishness. You want to move to another city? Do it. You want to get a sleeve tattoo? Do it. You want to go to a bar in a brunette wig and introduce yourself as “Katie”? Do it.
• The best relationship you will ever have is the relationship you have with yourself. Nurture that relationship first. Love that woman first.
• Be unapologetically yourself. I spent so much time bending the basis of who I am as a person to please people. BE YOU. The right person will love you for it.
• Appreciate genuine connections but know that they don’t need to mean forever. You are 50% of those connections – be comfortable, be carefree, be sincere and they will come by more frequently.
• The most unsuspecting moments will become some of the most profound memories. That first dog-walking date that never produced a relationship, that back-deck conversation on a summer night…those will stick with you.
• Become the woman you dreamt off – independent, carefree, confident.

The most dangerous thing about me is that I am my favourite company. You will have to fight me for me. – OfYesterYear

THE LITTLE THINGS

Hey loves,

I have officially hit the January blues. All of the joyous Christmas festivities are over, and as a Canadian, I am looking towards another 3 months of dreaded, snowy, miserable winter. January blues is a reoccurring thing for me every year, missing the festive season and counting down the moments until I can put my short shorts on for the first time of the year.

Due to this awful feeling, I’ve decided to compose a list of all the little things in life that make me truly, genuinely happy. I figured it would be worth the share to lift any of your spirits who are experiencing the same down feeling as I am.

1. Which leads me to my first point – the first time of the season that I slip into those denim short shorts and suddenly feel FREE.
2. Waking up and realizing you have 3 more hours to sleep before the alarm goes off.
3. Sore muscles the day after a good workout. They are just telling me “you worked me good, you’re on the right path!”
4. The green hue from the distance that the trees get in the spring when the buds are just starting to pop up.
5. Getting a whiff of your favourite perfume throughout the day reminding you that you smell great
6. Opening a hot, fresh box of delivered cheese pizza after a 45 minute wait
7. A quiet Saturday night after a hot bath, with countless hours to look forward to of Netflix, silence and alone time
8. The highly anticipated first kiss that sends butterflies down to your very core
9. That “ah ha” moment when learning new information when everything just clicks
10. The birds chirping on a summer morning
11. The scent of freshly mowed lawn
12. When you get an unexpected flower delivery
13. Remembering a fond memory so vividly that it feels like a warm hug
14. Just happening to see strangers do something so beautiful that it makes you smile – maybe a mother kissing her newborn baby, or an elderly couple holding hands sitting on a park bench
15. First stepping into the hot bath
16. As women, we pick ourselves apart. We are our own worst enemies. However, those moments where I offer myself complete acceptance – I look in the mirror and can think “you look nice today, and I like your heart”. The moments where I can see myself offering love and friendship to myself, those are good days.
17. Running past your breaking point, and that feeling of accomplishment after.
18. Getting home from a salon appointment and appreciating your new ‘do.
19. Lighting a brilliant smelling candle for the first time.
20. Recognizing your yoga poses are improving.
21. Having your pup cuddle up on your lap and look at you with loving eyes.
22. That little noise a pop bottle makes when you crack the seal.
23. Getting into bed after a few drinks and feeling as though there is literally nothing that could ever beat the feeling of your head on the mattress.
24. Making a new friend.
25. Deep, genuinely happy, belly laughs.

What are some things that make you the happiest version of yourself?